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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Then, just when I think I can breathe, the power goes out. Seriously? I’m standing there in the dark, surrounded by dough and flour, and I’m like, “What next?” I grab my phone, and it’s dead. Great. Just great.

A new place is open for Vilnius residents - Šeškinė Park